And every one of us has had every other one of us as a mother. The Buddhists like to say that there have been so many incarnations of every being in every conceivable situation and circumstance, that in the countless eons of time, every one of us has been a mother to every other one of us. If you can accept the idea that there are more lives to live than just this one, then we have all been mothers. Motherhood may be an aspect of having multiple lives. This truth is timeless and sacred – and it may not be confined to just this life. Life survives only by the grace and protection of mothers. Life produces life, and life nurtures life. On some preconscious level, we all remember this. Even so-called “bad” mothers took care of us when we were at our most vulnerable and most helpless. This is true even for the many organisms that are born from eggs. All multicellular beings have been born from mothers. We have all been protected, nurtured, and taught by mothers. This said, shortcomings in real mothering are not necessarily relevant to a meditation on mothering itself. We may develop trust issues or suffer emotional traumas or a stunted ability to love others. When our relationship with a mother is damaged or incomplete, we may feel damaged or incomplete as human beings. Many people have issues or problems with their parents, or have misgivings about the mothering role that they themselves are expected to play. Real mothers can have problems with parenting. Never mind for a moment that in our time and culture, the category of “mother” does not carry the universal meanings that it once may have had. She is the great being who has brought us physically and psychologically into this world. When the process of mothering goes as it should, she remains at the center of our psyche. We smile or cry or demand care of our mothers, and they respond as best they can. In this sense, we create our mothers as much as our mothers create us. We find someone on whom we can “ project ” the image and function of the Mother, whether or not that person happens to be a biological mother. For humans, Mother is an archetype : the relationship with a mother is part of our innate psychic makeup. A certain kind of male frog, for example, receives the eggs from the female frog and then incubates the eggs and tadpoles until the baby frogs are born from the male’s side pouch. In nature, beings are born in all sorts of ways, and not necessarily through a biological female. Males may function as mothers in certain circumstances, as may other family members or relatives. Mother is more than a biological entity, a creature that gives birth to us she may not even be female. In fact, this primary relationship is the foundation of individual consciousness. Much of this is instinct, built into the structure of our bodies and nervous systems. Our biological makeup is designed to interact with a mother, even while still in the womb. We all have a deep psychological imprint of mother. She is the nest: we learn, we live with each other, we share our lives and livelihoods because we began our lives with a mother. Mother is the womb, the home, the beginning. These are the bedrock of our conscious and unconscious lives. The experiences that we had at the beginnings of our lives have created our deepest memories and associations. She wrapped us up when we were cold, and comforted us when we were hurt or frightened. For most of us, she smiled at our open gaze and spoke sweet words to us. We were utterly helpless as infants: if she had not protected us, we would not be here. To have a human mother means to have a relationship to a person who brought us forth out of her body, who cared for us when we were at our most helpless and vulnerable. Everyone has a mother: all embodied beings are born, and to be born means to have a mother.
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